Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I am at a crossroads. Nothing earth-shattering, but as I sit here staring at the mostly-blank screen before me, I am facing a decision: my domain is expiring, do I renew and continue blogging or do I pull the plug?

I began this blog as “Dolly Doormat Doesn’t Live Here”. Initially it was designed to empower women, albeit with a snarky spin. As my content grew, my snarkiness subsided and I realized my true voice is in my compassion. I stepped back and regrouped and relaunched. I never intended The Yellow Kite to gain a huge, world-wide audience, I simply hoped each post would resonate with those–both male and female–who needed to hear my message.

I believe I met that objective, but one never really knows without feedback and interaction. To obtain both feedback and interaction requires connection. Creating connection requires time and effort. Therein lies the true issue: do I have the time and energy to commit to this to make it grow, do I continue as I have and post sporadically, or do I wrap it up and focus on other things?

When I ask myself those questions, others arise: Do I enjoy blogging and sharing my message? Do I believe sharing my life experiences can help someone else? Is what I say of any value or entertaining to others? Is this adding anything to my own life? What if I run out of things to say? If this is something I want to do, then why do I find it so hard to find time to do it? And, the biggest question of all–in this world filled with threats of terrorism, police and race relation tensions, and political issues, who cares about what I have to say? You see, something as simple as a little blog can be fraught with decisions!

While I ponder my decision, I realize life is cyclical and the current state of my life isn’t permanent. Right now I feel overwhelmed by things outside this blog, but one day all that will fall into place and I will again have more time and energy to devote to activities like this.

As I watch the words fill the screen, I admit I feel peace within, I feel the tenuous threads of connection to others, and I feel there is only one right answer. I will renew my domain and continue with The Yellow Kite, albeit sporadically.

So, as I close, I know my eyes may be the only to read this and that’s ok. However, I also know you may have stumbled upon it and have read this far–thank you and I hope you’ll come back again! Perhaps, one day, I will have something to say that can shed some light on an issue you face, make you laugh, sooth your heart, or simply make you feel you’re not alone in this big, misunderstood world. And that is why I blog.

I will stay.

The Yellow Kite




4 comments on “Should I Stay or Should I Go?

  1. While I was reading, I was following your logic the whole way–been down that road in other ways in my own life. I was thinking I have no right to “tell” you what to do, and must confess I don’t always read your posts, much like I don’t always get on Facebook, don’t always keep up to date on emails, or cards and letters and calls to family/friends. But secretly, I was hoping you would continue because when I do have time to read what you have written, I don’t regret having done so.

  2. You did a great job of self coaching. You asked the questions that were the right ones for you who you are, to ask. You looked at how you feel and what this means to you.
    You found the answer that was right for you. Great work!
    Personally, I’m glad you’re staying. I love your posts and feel very connected to you and the topics you have blogged about. So often, I just didn’t take the time to comment. Why? Not because it wasn’t worthy of comment, it always was. My self confidence, or lack thereof, would get in the way and feel like I had nothing more of value that could be added to such wonderful thoughts and statements.
    Another part of me knows better. All of us have something of value to add, say or do. Even when others are saying or doing similar things.
    So, I am putting aside the voice that says I’m not good enough, and am contributing, loving, and encouraging you on. :0)

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